I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
