when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You pole danced in your parka.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
