So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
