theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
