Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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