She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
