Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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