Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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