pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
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Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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