Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
