Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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