very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
