u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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