worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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