I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
