this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
