considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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