I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.