oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
