I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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