Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
