umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
third nipple confirmed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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