theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
