I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
