Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
