what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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