i need an iv and a liver transplant
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
