the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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