The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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