If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
