I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
