sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
