The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Randomize
