Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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