Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize