Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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