This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
