I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
