I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
