Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize