You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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