Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Mom said you looked used
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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