Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i think i have two assholes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
