I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
