I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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