I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize