he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
