I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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