just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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