whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize