I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize