Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
