I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
