Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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