My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love having hate sex.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
