I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize