fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize